The first time I saw my son's face was two days after he was born. I had gotten so sick it took two days before I was even really coherent. I remember distinctly though looking at all the pictures and videos Darin had taken of Brooks in the NICU on his camera and I just began weeping. The reality of what had happened was starting to sink in. I was sick, my son was sick, and it was time for me to see him. My dear nurse Suzie got me a wheelchair, unhooked me from all my machines and wheeled me thru the nurses station and into the NICU.
Darin was with us and took me right to Brooks' incubator. There he was - so small and tiny. As his Mother I wanted so badly to just take him in my arms and hold him and tell him he was going to be okay. But I had to settle for sticking my hands in his incubator and just rubbing his sweet little face and his hands and feet. As awful and as sick as I look in this picture, I am posting it because it does capture the very moment I first laid eyes on my beautiful boy.
This first meeting started the ritual of being at my child's side as often as I possibly could. Sometimes I would talk softly to him, stroking his face. Other times I would cry and just hold his little hand in mine.
After 9 days Darin and I were able to carry Brooks out of the NICU. When we walked out a family was right outside the door and they began clapping and said "Oh you're graduating!" It did make me feel so proud to be taking my son home after all we had been through. I know that was just the first of many, many proud moments I will have with him.
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